So here's what happened...

By now, I've put this URL in a few people's comment boxes, more embarrassed than anything but not wanting to drop off the face of the earth. A handful of nice souls have visited, and for this I am so glad and thankful. For any of you still wondering, yes, this is the Amy with four girls and a new baby boy that used to write at Between Daydreams (and before that at Among Women...and before that...)

I don't want to be known as a blog hopper, as someone who can't stick with anything. I don't know, maybe that is what I really am! But in this case I think I tried to avoid it.

Many things led up to me deleting Between Daydreams last week. Most of them childish and sinful (jealousy, self-pity, false humility...jealousy being the biggie...wait, maybe it's envy?) and a few not so childish (some true humility, not wanting to contribute to others' misuse of online time,etc). I also had this distinct feeling that I was being a fake half the time there - writing in a certain style that wasn't me, writing about certain subject, avoiding others; all to keep readers, get comments or a laugh. Maybe that's what "good bloggers" do, but to me it just felt a little too phony. It was a "me" I wanted to be but not a real me. My few readers and comments meant so much to me I guess I was just trying to do things to gain more and more! (you can add "greed" to my list above now, lol)

Add to all this my postpartum hormonal recovery, and a baby that has been screaming in my ear all day for six weeks, and I began thinking this whole blogging thing is just totally SILLY! Perhaps it is, I know it's not as important as I make it out to be half the time. But I immediately missed the ability to journal my life (I like blogs over paper journals for the same reason I'm a digital scrapbooker over paper), I missed my readers and the few comments I'd get, I *really* missed the connection with people I've come to love as IRL friends!

So I came over here to play around and think about what I would do. A few days later I decided to reclaim my Between Daydreams URL and just go on with life there, maybe changing a few things around. But when I did that, something about deleting and reclaiming the same URL messed up Bloglines. I only have a few readers, loosing a large handful of them through Bloglines would be a big blow to my little ego - plus I knew who some of them were and they were important to me! The baby still screaming in my ear, I got totally fed up with it all and deleted it again.

And so here I am, and I guess here I remain! To move again soon, just because I didn't intend this to be permanent, just seems too crazy.

I really am embarrassed about the whole thing. I feel like I had a tantrum and got caught! LOL Must be my 2yo rubbing off on me. :)

I hope to be a little more "real" here - we are a little less Catholic in our day to day life than I'd like I appeared at Between Daydreams, I am a lot more sarcastic than I came across, a crazy combo of flaky, "crunchy." tolerant and intelligent(one would never guess THAT, huh?)... but I don't want you to "like" someone who isn't me, if you are here reading I want it to be the real me. I hope I don't lose to many of you! ;-)

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Let me explain a little about my title. For years I've wanted to name our homeschool, but could never come up with anything that seemed perfect for us. I've also wanted to name our house something, like a cute cottage in the English countryside. A week or so after Epiphany last year, there was a show on the Food Network featuring "The Epiphany Restaurant". "THAT'S IT!" I cried in my best Charlie Brown impersonation. "Epiphany Prep School!" I loved how Epiphany could represent both a positive mental process and a Christian manifestation. And "Epiphany Something" could be our house (as I described below - settling on Epiphany Springs). Little did I know that Epiphany would take on a greater meaning. I found out two weeks later that our little baby boy, our first "leap of faith baby" after giving control of our fertility to God, started his life on Epiphany and now will be baptized on Epiphany this year also!

So that's it! :)

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ETA: In my haste to get off the computer (Mr. Fussy Pants was doing his thing) I neglected to thank Elizabeth for saving a copy of my old blog from Google Reader. I had saved a post or two prior to deleting but did not have the whole thing. Thank you so much for your help, Elizabeth!