I'm coming here not to complain, really, but to....I don't know, just share? I'm having difficulty with something today and if I had someone I thought would understand, I would call them. But no one really understands...so I'm just going to throw this out to the blogosphere, because I know there are people out there that really DO understand. They may not be one of the 10 people who read my blog, LOL, but one never knows.
Soooo...some of you know many of my children have food allergies. Even the ones that do not, spent their first 6-12 months reacting to foods in my breast milk...many foods. My guess is that I have "leaky gut" and so things I eat get into my bloodstream in huge molecules, which then get into my milk and irritate the babies. My current baby reacts to dairy and soy in all forms, citrus, tomato, chocolate, any "hot" spices, vinegar (even in little bits like dressings), and possibly sunflower and carrots ...we are already egg/nut free in the house so those are out (I don't know if he would react).
I find all of this very stressful. It isn't so much that I have to give up foods...while that does bother me, it is not the worst of it. I have done it many times and am pretty used to it by now, although I find it difficult to find things to eat and even more difficult to make meals for my family. What is truly getting to me today, however, is that I am HURTING my child. The mere fact that I need sustinance HURTS my poor innocent baby. Because I can't figure out everything that is bothering him. Here he is almost three months old and I am still doing trial and error. I thought my diet was very clear yesterday, that he should be fine. But no, today he is very cranky and his diapers are "yucky" (I'll spare the poop details, LOL, you can thank me later).
I don't know if anyone can understand, but it breaks my heart in a very real way that I basically have to chose between eating, and my baby feeling good.
That's all I have to say.
I haven't been in your exact situation but I have experienced similar things so can empathise.
ReplyDeleteI think you are amazing for putting up such a fight to continue breast-feeding your babies under the circumstances. I really understand and admire where you are coming from. You may not like what I am going to say - but I do think there is a point where the balance between your health and baby's health tips too far, and you have to take care of both of you. So I'm going to ask an unpopular and politically incorrect question - can you bottle feed him? If for no other reason than that he would have consistent sustenance that would not disturb him. And an extra bonus would be that you could eat properly which is extremely important after what you've just been through.