You know, I'm having trouble organizing my thoughts about this - I wish Willa would write my post because she has such a great way of organizing ideas from many sources ans writing a thoughtful and intelligent sythesis/analysis on the subject!
My posts below about the bead string, while they seem related, actually were written before I read the mother culture thread, so they are not in response to it. I think knowing that makes a difference to anyone who might be following all this.
The thread on 4Real is about "mother culture" and how we should make a point to feed our own souls with things we enjoy, take time to refresh, etc. I posted and said I was not convinced that we *should* do this. I'm not saying I *don't* do this, because I do. But I see it more as a sign of weakness and selfishness than something God is asking me to do for myself. I don't recall a place in scripture, or saints writings, or something else more reliable than modern pop psychology, that says we need to make our personal/psychological upkeep a priority. I'm not saying there aren't any, I just don't know of them and would love to find some!
I'm not saying women don't need nurturing either...but I see a difference between accepting whatever nurturing we get from others, and *actively* seeking out our own "soul food" for our own good (time to read, or go out for tea, or whatever does it for you). I think long ago women got this more easily *in the course of their daily activities* - quilting bees, multigenerational housing, even more recently when most moms stayed at home and you could stop to chat over the back fence while hanging laundry and watcing the kids on the swingset. I've even heard that long ago when women knew their daily work was essential for the survival of their family, that fed thir souls in a way that todays cushy-by-comparison life does not.
Ok, so I guess I'm establishing that I believe women need nurturing. But are we supposed to seek that out?
Angie says:
I suppose I could be tricky and ask you to quote me the Bible or some saints or Pope John Paul II to prove that the vocation of wife and mother and the responsibilities of home educating are enhanced by maternal exhaustion, depletion, despair, burden, and a grim demeanor...but I wouldn't do that . (I know you aren't advocating this either, Amy. You are such a bright light.)
LOL, you are right Angie, I am definitely not advocating that. One can have exhaustion, depletion, and burden *without* the despair and grim demeanor! ;-) Like Blessed Teresa of Calcutta said, "I am ready to accept whatever He gives and to give whatever He takes with a big smile."
I wonder what women in the third world think of "mother culture". I feel our lives here are humongously cushy in comparison. Does grasping for "mother culture" just bring us back to the level of cushiness we have become used to?
I don't know the answer to these questions,I could be totally off - I'm just a seeker wanting answers.
I think part of my problem is what has transpired here over the past 10 years - it has felt like continual crisis mode. For this highly sensitive person it has been more than rough. Through it all I have begged God for rest and refreshment, and he sent two babies in a row with horrible sleep habits that lasted years each and 5 babies in a row that have needed me to go on wild elimination diets to keep them feeling well (and leave me feeling ill and hungry most of the time). So much for rest and refreshment, LOL! I'm not saying this to complain or get sympathy, but to somehow explain that God's will for me didn't seem to mesh with even the basics of taking care of myself, much less the higher aspects of "mother culture" -creativity,friendship, and the like. (see Maslow's hierarchy).
If it's something we need, wouldn't God give it to us? And if it's just a want, aren't we all called to heroic virtue to give up those wants?
Again, I'm not saying I *do* this. But when I don't, I feel like I'm "stealing" time better spend serving God some other way.
Well, baby needs me now, so I've got to run. Hope some of these random thoughts made sense. The offer of a box of chocolates to the person who convinces me God wants us to partake in "mother culture" still stands! ;-)
I came to the blog from the 4-Real Thread because I was asking the same question as Amy in my head.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I would say that I don't think that Patience is defining it the same way as the 4-Real board. The article sited in the thread defines it this way, "Mother Culture is living the educational life with our children by learning alongside of them."
That certainly seems true. We spread the joy of learning to our children by doing it ourselves. We imitate our Creator by creating beautiful things out of love for our family.
In the thread, things such as going to have manicures and such are listed. Not that it is a sin to do such, but if Amy's doubts are like mine, those are the types of comments which make me wonder if we are called to it.
Perhaps, mother culture like other things, is something we have to grow into doing well. An introvert needs alone time to function well. Initially, one can get that alone time by going to the salon, but eventually as we grow in our faith, we learn to use that alone time as Christ did by going to the Father in prayer.
I also think that perhaps the discussion at 4Real is to remind us that reading a good novel refreshes us because the goodness in it comes from God. It seems some of us are apt to feel guilty if we indulge in reading things that aren't "heavy," and yet, I must say that rereading "Little Men" last week while the baby was sick in arms did as much to inspire me in ways to teach virtue to my boys as many other "headier" books about virtue I have read--and it was a refreshing delight during the difficult time.