Because I couldn't delete the comment (I thought blogger could do that? No?) I actually did delete the entire post. I don't tolerate nastiness in my own house, and especially in this refuge of a blog. It was my "Day in the Life" post. Anyone that knows me well knows I go around deleting posts (and even whole blogs) all the time at will and it is no big deal. I will probably delete this post too, in time, but I did want to address what the commenter said, because it made me think.
Anonymous said:
I would hate to live like you do. Your kids seem very needy and your house is a wreck. I hope this is a joke, right???/
Nope, not a joke, as I'm SURE you knew.
For about 3 seconds, reading that comment made me get anxious and almost cry. "No, it's no joke, my life, and house, really s%cks like that and I hate it too, sometimes!" Hey, I'm 4 months postpartum. I cry over everything. But I got over that feeling right quick.
Yes, my kids are very needy. We believe my oldest is brain damaged from her vaccines. My second has a hearing loss. My 2yo is like a 2yo on steriods, and the baby is just getting over colic. All of the children but one (including the 4yo I haven't mentioned yet) have multiple life threatening food allergies, asthma, eczema. One has learning disabilities and two are extremely bright. They are full of energy, full of life.
Yes, my house was a mess. That picture there, if you missed my reference to it, was of all the blankets that were taken out to make a little bed in the living room for the 2 and 4yos, so my older ones could tuck them in and read them stories. It was adorable. But it did get kicked around during the day and they were waiting for my help to put them back on the beds - I was tending to a needy baby most of the day, and it was lower on my priority list than holding my crying infant. I am human, it *did* bother me, so I took a picture to mention it. My usual readers understand.
They also know I'm not just some uneducated young thing that doesn't "know what causes that" and stuck in a filthy little house with an uncaring husband. Reading my "one day" you may get that impression if you already have assumptions in your mind about "who would live like that." My dh and I are both highly educated, we live in a small house because we have paid it off by making wise choices and living simply, and are waiting for our "perfect house" to present itself, and we have many children because we believe God's greatest gift to us here on earth is other people, particularly in the form of our own children. We are also both very kind, loving, sacrificial, talented people (well, dh is, LOL). I simply have a tolerance level for frustration, which has been reached too often lately, and it shows in my posts. Again, my usual readers understand (I LOVE you guys!)
I bet, looking in on one of the houses Mother Theresa and the Sisters of Charity ran, one could say the same thing as my commenter above. "I would hate to live like that. Look at how needy everyone is. Ugh, sick and dying everywhere. What a mess! Repulsive!" But oh, what JOY in the service of others, in serving the lowliest of mankind. And what wonderous things is Mother Theresa experiencing NOW, in heaven, in payment for her lifetime of service! I am giddy just thinking of it. I could only hope to gain a fraction of what she must have now, in eternal adoration of our Father. Yet like her, it is my service, my messy, loud, sometimes crazy-making service, that is my vocation, my gift to my God. And the "needy" and "messy" of my life is His gift to me. From Diane's blog today:
The reason trials are necessary in order to reach this state is that highest union cannot be wrought in a soul that is not fortified by trials and temptations and purified by tribulations, darknesses, and distress, just as a superior quality liqueur is poured only into a sturdy flask which is prepared and purified. By these trials the sensory part of the soul is purified and strengthened and the spiritual part is refined, purged, and disposed...
God allows them to be tempted in order to elevate them as high as possible, that is, to union with the divine wisdom...
The combat of trials, distress, and temptations deadens the evil and imperfect habits of the soul and purifies and strengthens it. A man should hold in esteem the interior and exterior trials God sends him, realizing that there are few who merit to be brought to perfection through suffering and to undergo trials for the sake of so high a state...
For God repays the interior and exterior trials very well with divine goods for the soul and body, so that there is not a trial which does not have a corresponding and considerable reward.
----St John of the Cross
Some moms' houses may be neat, and their 2.5 kids always well behaved, but God has chosen me and is refining me for closer union with Him. For eternity.
So in this fleeting moment my kids are needy, my house is messy, and I am BLESSED beyond measure in my trial.
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