The difference between my husband and me

Let me start off by saying this does not make him wrong and me right, nor vice versa. It just "is" and that is OK. And just to prove my humbleness I'll admit I've had to consult a grammar website three times already for this post. :) Once for the title, once for "nor" and once for starting a sentence with "and". I think I'm using the first two correctly. And ;-) I'm pretty sure starting a sentence with "and" is frowned upon but done anyway. ;-) Mr. Strunk is probably rolling over in his grave at the little emoticons and smilies I use as real language in my mind, too. What better way to incorporate body language into internet usage? :)

OK, back to the subject at hand. The difference between my husband and me. It all boils down to goals vs. dreams.

Quoted from Organizing Your Home and Family by Sandra Felton:

But the Visionary cannot give up the goal [of having a certain look/feel in her home] so easily. She does whatever she can because she cannot be content seeing the beautiful dream fade. Even after years of failure, when she thinks she is doomed to live without its fulfillment, somewhere the ember of the dream still burns. It won't let her rest until she achieves in reality the vision of so long ago.

Some people may call this dream having goals. But it is so much more than that. Goals reside in the brain, the mind, the intellect. This dream has its home in the deepest part of the emotions, the will, the spirit. It is not cool and laid back. It is fixed and strong. If threatened, it becomes passionate.

I would definitely call myself a Visionary personality the way Sandra Felton is using it. I'm a dreamer, a planner, a feeler. Her other two types are "manager" and "worker." Definitely not me, LOL.

Sure, my husband has dreams - "goals" if you will, that he's emotional about. The thing is, I'm pretty sure he's fulfilled most of his dreams already! (Am I right, DH? Am I right?) The deepest part of him is mostly satisfied. He's got a good job, is talented at what he does and performs it well, has a great (*cough*) wife and loving children jumping all over him in greeting when he comes home. The only things I would add to dh's dreams are one more promotion (which he has been all but promised), and earlier than usual retirement. Maybe a bigger house/more land, but I bet he would be content here if I was.

My dreams, on the other hand, run throughout every portion of my life in great detail, and those I *thought* I had, were not the reality of life. Sure, I had a dream to have a great husband and family, and a house. I would say I do have my dream dh. He is Wonderful personified. But my dream family was MUCH more obedient (and quiet! Four girls make a lot of chatter. That you have to listen to! And answer!) and less argumentative. Did I mention obedient? I am flabbergasted, and pained, at how infrequently these children care to obey me. While I am truly grateful and thankful that I have a house, it's look and feel is little like my "dream".

So my dh has house "goals" and I have house "dreams." He is happy to make up his list and get to things one at a time, pleased by his accomplishments when we can find some time to do them (understandably rare these days). I am restless until my dream is fulfilled. Unfortunately (or is it fortunately?) I am starting to see that fulfilling *my* dreams may not be what God would rather I do with our time and money. Buying a different house in a safer neighborhood involves using money that would be better off donated to charity, or at the very least used to help our children pay for college, etc. I *know* God wants me to be content with my circumstances. But it is hard, sometimes grievously hard, to let dreams die, when you are a "visionary."

I can have hope, though, that God can turn my visionary heart to His purposes. And maybe my room in Heaven will look just like my "dream house" after all.