This. This!

THIS is my problem:

Problems arise when one person has the responsibility and the other person has the control.

This is a quote from Julie at Brave Writer's blog post on Marriage and Homeschool. Except in my case it's not just marriage related, and it's not about homeschooling. Well, at least how dh relates to homeschooling. He gives me all the responsibility AND the control, except I pass by him large $$ purchases like a whole Sonlight Core or Rosetta Stone. However, even if he says yes to those things, I still feel guilty because I know how much he hates to spend money, LOL. But that is a post for another day. ;-)



Back to the topic at hand: responsibilty vs. control.



Let me re-iterate for my dh who I know will eventually read this: this is not about our marriage, which is wonderful. I am very lucky to have my dh, as I tell my dear readers often! This is about my life in general, of which our marriage of course plays a part, but so does everything else.



I have been crying on and off since I read that quote of Julie's. It was like a kick in the gut of realization - and now every time I find myself in a situation that typifies that predicament I burst into tears. My dh must be so fed up by now! But I'm stuck at the point where I know what is "wrong" but I see NO way out of it...and I'm even beginning to wonder if I *should* get out of it. What would be the most noble and virtuous thing to do? What shows the most love? Is it trying to get "my way" in areas I have responsibility? Somehow I don't think so, but I also know I'm miserable the way things are. And some things are just not UNDER my control nor will they ever be. For example, I have responsibility for educating my children well, but I have NO control over my daughter's dyslexia/adhd/etc and how she will learn and/or respond in any given situation.