Saturday's epiphany

A few posts ago I mentioned that I wasn't prepared to start school again because I wasn't sure what I was doing yet with Oak Meadow/Serendipity/Waldorf-ish education. Today I realized that while that may be true, what I *really* am is SCARED! Scared that this new way of schooling won't be the healing, nurturing thing I hope it will be. Scared that it's just going to BOMB, and my relationship with my children will wind up deeper in the hole than it already is. We need to do school, and we need to bond more, and be gentle and fun together, and I so desperately want Oak Meadow/Waldorf-ish schooling to fulfill those needs, PLUS be a good education! We can't afford to do "school lite" anymore, esp. with my dyslexic oldest.

Aaaaaaaaaa!! THAT's why I don't want to start school up again. I'm terrified it'll fail, and then I won't know WHAT to do.