The Conundrum

As I mentioned a few days ago I'm itching to go back to my "A Call to Adventure" blog that I had years ago. I thought maybe I'd just use that blog for a specific purpose, like to chronicle the lifestyle changes I'm trying to make. So I went into blogger and quickly made up the blog...and when I saw it my whole body just went "Ahhhhhhh...."

"Ahhhhhh" is NOT the feeling I get when I'm here. Doesn't that even sound silly? "Here" is not anywhere, it's a piece of cyberspace! Yet I feel anxious when I'm "here" in this little patch of electrons. I named my blog Epiphany Springs in the hope that I would have my dream to go along with the blog - a house a bit further out in the country with some sort of brook or spring near it. That dream seems quite far away right now, and it make me a bit anxious and sad to think about it.

Even dh wants me to take a break from house hunting. He says it's making me crazy. (I counter with the fact that it's OTHER things making me crazy - I house hunt to get away from that and hope for something new and exciting...).

So back to the "Ahhhh" feeling. There isn't even anything over at "A Call to Adventure," it's just a blank Minima template (ETA: a little time on my hands and there are now Epiphany Springs posts over there and a header photo), but it took me back to a time where life was a bit easier, and I felt my call to this crazy homeschooling/SAHMing/Catholic lifestyle a bit stronger, a bit more wonderfully. The title reminds me that we're all called to be saints, and that this life should be considered a grand adventure. I want that Ahhhhh back in my life, that sense of peace in my purpose. Epiphany Springs just reminds me that my will and God's are at odds right now. :(

So I guess there IS no conundrum. The difficulty when I started this post was wondering whether I should keep BOTH blogs going, but I think I answered my own question. Come what may. Give me a few days, I need to pretty it up, but unless in the next week we put an offer on a house with a stream in the backyard, I'll be making new digs over at A Call to Adventure. I need to be true to myself, and true to God's call.