control
He says the adoptee is NOT that post-traumatic person -- personally I wish he would have gone deeper here, because I believe this is the crux of many of my issues. I guess I feel I've become that person, but it's not who I should be deep down inside, it's not my real "self" it's just a constantly-walking-on-eggshells act.
"They are living on red alert! -- my life nearly ended! There was a trauma! I'm going to jolly well make sure it doesn't happen again!" "Here are these people, what do you have to do to get on and belong around here."
Oh my goodness yes, I am *always* on alert. I remember being disgusted with myself at 5 or 6 years old because I fell asleep in the car on the way home from the circus. I *hated* the fact that I was not in control of that, because I would typically do anything to keep myself awake. Multiply that by a million other situations over 44 years.
CONTROL. FREAK. (Except I don't push it...I just die inside when I don't have control. Like, umm, most of every day with 5 kids)
Oh my goodness yes, I am *always* on alert. I remember being disgusted with myself at 5 or 6 years old because I fell asleep in the car on the way home from the circus. I *hated* the fact that I was not in control of that, because I would typically do anything to keep myself awake. Multiply that by a million other situations over 44 years.
CONTROL. FREAK. (Except I don't push it...I just die inside when I don't have control. Like, umm, most of every day with 5 kids)
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