We're back from the torture chamber...

... I mean "pediatrician."  I *wanted* to call her a vaccine nazi, but I know some people get upset when others use "nazi" to mean anything other than what it really means. But wow, she really came close today.

I always feel like a wrung out dishrag when I'm done there, and today was particularly trying.  This is the third visit in three weeks - we've brought in the 12yo, 10yo, and today was the 3yo. Everyone had immunizations, *every time* we have variations on the same discussion. She knows me and my views, yet she is compelled to use all sorts of scare tactics to get me to change my mind. I'm sorry lady, I'm not just some poor, uneducated person who doesn't want my kid to feel a little pin prick, nor am I a young, naive mom who is just jumping on the "no vaccine" bandwagon without thought.  She doesn't want to *hear* what I have to say though, and today even cut me off when I quickly, in one phrase, tried to explain why we do what we do vaccine-wise.

Today she told me that if I would consent to it, she would give my just turned 3yo a DTaP, MMR, a new prevnar (that is new and covers 13 different s. pneumoniae strains I believe), the varicella, and a hepB *all at the same time.*  Or if I wanted, the dtap, ipv and hepB (I think) come in one injection so he would have the polio too.  I actually laughed out loud when she said that.  Sorry doc.  But seriously?????  NINE serious diseases shot into my little boy at once? Ten if you count the IPV, and 22 if you count the strains of the prevnar. And she was pushing this.  And she is in a group practice associated with one of the best hospitals in the country...so I'm sure I'm by far not the only one being fed this garbage.

Look lady, I feel guilty enough every time my kids get shots.  Were you there when my normally alert 2 month old slept for six hours straight, was unrousable for feeding, then finally woke and screamed a high pitched scream for three hours straight after getting her DTP?  Were you there when the pediatrician blew that off when I called because she didn't have a "high fever." (I've since read that those are symptoms of  brain swelling). Are you there now every day while I'm homeschooling said child, who has alopecia, multiple food allergies, dyslexia, ADD, memory issues, nvld? No?  Then SHUT UP.

I feel guilty enough that my conscience needs to decide between using vaccines with aborted fetal cell lines and my kids getting serious diseases - ones that are MORE serious due to their concurent problems (asthma, etc).  I feel guilty that I'm not just getting the vaccines at their scheduled time because "that's what a good mom would do" and guilty that I'm giving them AT ALL because I know what they *can* do to some kids, including my own.

I feel guilty enough. You don't need to tell me, lady, that chicken pox can be very serious and if my kid--who is now destined to die of chicken pox according to you -- comes near a pregnant woman it could kill her baby!  Just. stop. talking. PLEASE.

So I bathed my baby in prayer that the two vaccines I agreed to don't do him permanent damage.

Yes, I know I should switch doctors. I had a good doctor (same practice) who moved to another state.  This doctor already thinks I'm insane for having 5 kids and homeschooling, she looks at me funny and always asks these weird questions...I feel like I'm on her "watch list."  I've already been accused of doctor hopping.  I don't want to ruffle any more feathers than I have...because we are not doing anything wrong!! What's worse is she acts all nice at the end and says what a great family I have...it's all so fake.  I was waiting until we moved to switch docs...but that is another whine for another time.

Now I'm going to sit here and finish my bag of M&M's.  Maybe I'll chase it with a glass of wine! :-P

ETA: I forgot about the flu shot.  That makes 23.