I'm subversive

The other day we attended story time at a local library - the same story time we have attended countless times before. It's usually pretty decent as far as these things go. Several different librarians rotate through hosting it each week and sometimes they bring in a special guest reader or character (which I can usually do without, lol).

But this time seemed different. One of the usual librarians was there. I got in early and set up camp (you know, with four thousand coats, a rolling book cart, a huge book bag, and a clingy toddler around me). I sat where two seats had been set up. The librarian comes over and somewhat brusquely tells me to move those seats waaaay over there to the corner of the enclosed kids room because the place I was sitting was in the way. "This section is for the kids activities and all the parents need to sit back there." OK. The kids have always been fine doing their movement activities with stools lining two sides of the room, but whatever. No big deal other than the fact that we've never had to do that before, the seats were there when I got into the room, and her somewhat rude tone.

So I move our four thousand coats, huge book bag, rolling library cart, growing stack of books, two library seats, and my toddler to the corner of the room. Good, I thought, I can have some anonymity back here.

Storytime got started and everyone settled in while she went over the rules. Rules? What, there are rules now? We've never needed rules before. Granted, some kids wander around a little too much for my tastes, but most of the kids listen, and these kids range in age from newborn to about 6 (mine, the other 6yo's are in school!) so you can't expect perfection.

Kids were now not allowed to have a book with them on the mat while she was reading. "I want their attention on me, not their books. Parents please put them away." Gee, and I thought the library was all about wanting books around you. ;-) Never before had a child with a book caused a problem. Usually the kids holding books were too young to really pay attention to a half hour story time anyway. They never caused any harm.

"Parents, I expect your participation! Get up when we get up! Dance when we dance!" Ummmm, no. Just no! I take my kids to the library story time so I can get a little break. So I can SIT and watch them be entertained by *someone else*. I occasionally help my toddler do a finger play or something, but he doesn't CARE yet and my older girls don't even give me a second thought. I'm not shakin' my patootie so somebody elses kids will participate more fully, and I totally resent being told to do so. Luckily I wasn't the only parent who didn't, although most did. Because I'm also a pushover when it comes to peer pressure. I had the excuse of my toddler to hold.

"Parents, if your child is getting restless, please feel free to take them out of the room so the other children can pay attention." Hmmmm, while I do see some need for stating this, in practice it actually made things more chaotic.

It was at that point I realized just how much I resent being told what to do. And how much I *love* homeschooling. And how much I want my kids to not have to deal with the whole "line up and do what I say" mentality from someone who doesn't really care about them. I believe fully in obeying one's parents. But this is different. I even started wondering just how much I *should* be demanding obedience from my kids when I hate with a passion how that librarian made me feel.

We didn't need stated rules. Honestly, the half hour didn't run *any better* than it usually did. Only now, we had several parents/daycare providers who seemed much more tense then they usually did. It was much more distracting for the group for me to get up and take a book from my 3yo, who then got upset, than it was for her to just get up and wander off for a book. She's 3 feet tall and was quiet until I made her make a scene. Same for the other parents. And just where should we draw the line? What does "restless" really mean? Wandering? Making some noise? Story time has now gone from a fun, loose, half hour, to a stressful and regimented time to listen to the librarian, who by the way spent waaay to much time reading to the parents about all the upcoming library events. If you want the kids' attention, lady, grab it when they come in and don't let it go until story time is over!

It didn't help that during the story time I noticed a mom with four kids under 5 or so. All boys, the youngest looking to be only 2-3 months old. I was hoping to tell her what a beautiful family she had, when I overheard her say she was a daycare provider. We bumped into each other on the way out, and she gave me a big smile and said, "Oh, are you a daycare provider too?" "No," I smiled and said, "They're all mine." Her face fell and her tone of voice got snide. "Oh," she stammered, in that 'you're crazy' kind of way, "Wow. You must be, ummm, really busy." I smiled and nodded, fearing that if I actually opened my mouth, what came out would not be very nice. I'm sure I'm no busier than a daycare provider who has four kids under 5 during the day and her own 5, 8, and 11yo's after school! But because 'they're mine' and I don't get paid to take care of them, I'm crazy and not worth a nice comment. Sigh.

Luckily, I went home with my brood to a house where my dh was working from home. I saw him and all was right with the world again. I am so lucky.