Creativity and Radical Generosity

Originally posted in March 2013

Dear Jennifer from As Cozy As Spring has asked to discuss a topic I couldn't manage in just the combox - the fine line between spending time and money on creativity vs. being "radically" generous to God's poor. I put radically in quotes because while *I* don't think it's preposterous to give all you own to the poor to follow Christ, most people do, even today's Christians.  

Quoting form Jenn's blog:

 "This may not have bugged me as much had Pope Francis not spotlighted the Christian role in caring for the poor as he has.  I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the DSLR and the fancy yarn.  But God does gift individuals with creative spirit and to what extent do we nurture that?  Is creativity a gift or a luxury?  At what point does creativity and the pursuit of beauty or expression become an idol?"

I don't think I can do justice to the depth of her questions, so I'm going to throw a bunch of random thoughts at you    try to stick with the parts I have been thinking about lately, and hope it gels together with each of your own personal situations.  (I may use "you" throughout this post, Jenn, but I don't mean only you in particular... really anyone reading who wants to get something out of this.) I also went a little off topic and ventured into some ideas generated by people who commented on Jenn's post.

I think this topic begs the question of just WHO are we listening to when those voices of "You are not doing enough!" are yelling in our heads. "You are not giving enough to the poor! You are not spending enough time with your children!  And even if you are spending every waking moment and much of your nighttime caring for your kids, it's not enough, it must be QUALITY time! Go! Now!!"   

Ugh.

I recently shared something on Facebook. It said  "God's voice: stills you, leads you, reassures you, enlightens you, encourages you, comforts you, calms you, convicts you.
Satan's voice: rushes you, pushes you, frightens you, confuses you, discourages you, worries you, obsesses you, condemns you."    This has been very helpful for me lately.   We should be giving of our time and money out of love. If we don't it is just the clashing cymbal, meaning nothing.  If we are giving to quell the condemning, frightening voices or out of obligation, while even that money helps the poor, it isn't helping our souls.

What it helps me to do in any situation, not just when it comes to giving my time and money, is ask myself, "Knowing what I know, what is the *most loving* decision for right now. Go with the love." Keeping in mind that my first obligation is to my family and my own soul.   Sometimes it is giving that $10 I was going to spend on myself to charity. And sometimes, because I know how weak and overwhelmed I am most of the time, the most loving thing is doing something that feeds me, so that I stop snapping at my kids.   

If it's simply being creative that is necessary, do it out of love and/or *for* charity.  Sarah wrote a great piece recently on creativity as service and vice versa. .  She really expresses much of what I feel on that.   

I know I begin comparing the price of nice hand knit sweater with the cheapest I could get at Walmart. In my mind I think I should save that money (for the poor or not)... but that is comparing  apples and oranges! Yes good yarn (for example) is expensive -- but it's just what things cost!  We are so stuck on getting the cheapest thing, saving the MOST money -- but much of what is cheap to us is cheap because we exploit people in third world countries to get it that way.  Fair trade is more expensive - so compare "fair trade sweater" with your hand knit sweater and it is probably more equal. And cheap is often uncomfortable or just wears out more quickly.   You can still try to get the best deal on the good stuff so as to not "waste" the money, but it's not sinful to spend X dollars on comfortable yarn instead of $(X-3) on scratchy yarn.  There's a time for hairshirts and it's not on your precious baby! :)



If it's a time issue, "Oh no, my kids are needy and I'm taking time away from them!"  At no time in history until very recently were women expected to give 100% of time to their children without taking time out to create. Yes, much of it was necessary, but it WAS creative.   Yes, there are seasons - a fussy infant needs lots of time, day and night.  I think modern homeschooling moms are already giving SO SO SO much more than anyone but perhaps a nun working in the slums...and often doing it very alone.  This is not good or easy. (I'm not saying YOU are not right for doing it, but it's not "healthy"). Backtracking a bit, have you ever seen the schedule of the Missionaries of Charity? I got this from the Conversion Diary blog:  

Daily Schedule for the Missionaries of Charity

4:30-5:00 Rise and get cleaned up
5:00-6:30 Prayers and Mass
6:30-8:00 Breakfast and cleanup
8:00-12:30 Work for the poor

12:30-2:30 Lunch and rest
2:30-3:00 Spiritual reading and meditation
3:00-3:15 Tea break
3:15-4:30 Adoration
4:30-7:30 Work for the poor

7:30-9:00 Dinner and clean up
9:00-9:45 Night prayers
9:45 Bedtime

That's 7.5 hours for serving and the rest for hygiene, eating, resting, reading, praying.  It's even broken up and balanced throughout the day.  And this is the Missionaries of Charity!   During the baby/toddler plus homeschooling years, my serving NEVER ENDED DAY AND NIGHT.  It's not healthy, especially doing it alone like so many of us do (no extended family or servants). 

I'm reminded of the story of women in a third world country who were given some new contraption that was supposed to make their lives easier by taking some chore of theirs that  took 3 hours and knocking it down to 30 minutes (or some such, I don't remember the details, only the outcome). They tried it and then went back to their old way, stating that the time that they did X was the time they sat and talked together, and with the new contraption they didn't do that anymore. It wasn't worth it.  I think we see the world through our first world "Rush Rush Compete Compete Produce Produce" eyes and it colors everything we do.  It doesn't make it right, or moral, or just. Jesus said to love one another, not be productive.  So taking time (and therefore some money) out to be creative is OK when done in love, of yourself and neighbor.  Jesus said to love others as yourself, not "kill yourself in overworkingness in some misguided notion that you must do everything for everyone and only YOU can solve the worlds poor people crisis." 

I think in modern day America, at least where I live, you MUST take time for yourself because  no one else is caring for you or with you.  The neighbors are all at work, the mother or grandmother doesn't live with or even near you, etc. I think in the past or in other countries it was much more of a give and take, which was nurturing and necessary for many women.  Even the nuns, for example, who give up ALL to serve Christ gain much - camaraderie, the protection of the order, a spiritual director, a mother superior looking out for her health and welfare, etc -- checks and balances.  A modern day mother who gave up everything would have...nothing?  

 I think we  take that ONE line in scripture where Jesus asked the rich young man to give all and follow him and perhaps turn it into something it's not meant to be.  Although I'm not sure about this one yet. Just something I think about.  Like how first God said "tithe" - then later He says "give it all." I think it's a process...something to work towards. It could also be that particular man's calling/vocation.  We are not ALL called to be nuns/priests who take vows of poverty.  We each have a state in life that it is OK to live up to in simplicity and charity.  I don't know how right it is to make my family live a certain way because *I* want to be generous. They have the right to live appropriately to their state of life also.  (read Happy Are You Poor by Fr. Dubay for a great run down on all this).

When overwhelmed I try to look back even just a few hundred years ago when the people you knew about would be 99% only the people you had around you.  TV and internet has put all 7 billion people right in our living room, and all their thousands of different kinds of problems. It is overwhelming and I don't think God designed us for that, again, especially generally alone.  So I hole up, and worry about my family and people God puts in my path.  It's not love to give $1K to some faceless charity and then snap at my kids all day because I'm overwhelmed and un-nurtured.    So thinking about my own kitchen cabinets (which sound even worse than yours, Jennifer! :) ) ,  I do want something nice for my family. I won't buy the most expensive cabinets, but I will get well made and functional, not "cheapest".  My family lives HERE our friends live here. My family should be able to live in a place comparable (but not lavish) compared to those around them. This just makes the most loving and logical sense to me.    *IF* I could get away with a nice coat of paint to make them nice again, I would.  But my cabinets are beyond that (and some are broken) so it is time to fix and make new.  *IF* I could create them more cheaply myself I would, but I am not a carpenter so I pay a carpenter who also has to make a living.  I believe in simple yet comparable to my state in life.  (This is not to say I don't agonize over every little decision like this. I do.)

Somewhat tangentially related, I think it was in Kisses From Katie that I read something akin to, "If everyone who says they are a Christian would take care of ONE poor child, there would be no poor children in the world anymore."  That reminds me that my job is not to care for ALL the poor people all at once. It is not ALL on my shoulders like it feels sometimes.  I know I personally tend to feel crushed by that, but that's not right either. Like the "God vs. Devil" thing I posted above, the Holy Spirits thoughts to me would not be crushing and overwhelming.

Was it Mother Teresa who said what the poor need most is love, not a hand out?  Somehow this is related to what I'm saying, lol.  Can't quite articulate how. :)

When all is said and done, I think if we make sure we are listening to GOD's voice in our hearts, we may feel nurtured and loved enough to BE radical and sell the awesome camera lens and give the money to charity.  But it's a process, and sometimes a slow one. Love yourself through it.

And if I'm wrong on any of this I pray that God enlightens my mind. The last thing I want to do is lead people astray.